5/31/2001 Found laurie and her gf (perhaps), and had the most insane night in the wrong part of town. I scribbled it down last night to post it, but it is way way too long to be included here... it was a bit of a deliverance early morning, in a place that makes Trainspotting to be an episode of Burnet's @the secret garden@, shit I hate these british keyboards still! Found a better cafe Easy* franchise. Anyway, I ended up on Arthur's Seat, and what a view of the night! Stellar, though not many stars, and the sky to the north was echoing the say all night, if you can unpack all that. Anyway, I'm going ot get scolded for taking the wrong bus, I'm sure of it. I wish I had a car. I'm just not used to buses. And I'm too freaked out by English money to take a cab. Plastic I can handle, because it is just an illusion. Laurie was laughing at me for being inconsistent... cash for bus, cash for scotch, but nervious about cabs. Anyway, it is fuuking cold here. I know I can handle it, but I don't want to handle it. Going window shopping with Laurie when she gets back from work, meeting at my room in 30 min. Then she can do my daytime purchasing, and rag me more for being the midnightbitch, as she calls me. Such is life. Be well! Sasm BlogID# 3870348 $blog_id=3870348; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/30/2001 Well. I'm here. Sccribbling out my nasties in a flea bitten cyber cafe who will not get a notivce by me in my Blog. That's for sure. I hate the british keyboard. It is cold. The sun comes up at 3am. Ohmygod! But the Royal Hotel is nice. Such a beautiful view. Off to find Laurie. Maybe Edinburgh will not be so bad... BlogID# 3855616 $blog_id=3855616; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/27/2001 They tell me that buffy is dead. Perhaps this is a good thing. Unless she becomes a martyr. BlogID# 3818616 $blog_id=3818616; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> THis is a response to a thread on the topic of Vampire Community Leaders that I though was worth keeping. > Sylvere > (who is all about zero hierarchy)
I could kiss you! Personally, I consider what you term so wonderfully zero hierarchy to be a prime requirement for validity as an individual. Though there are times when we motivate (lead) and participate (follow), and that is well and good, anyone who considers herself a leader, or even a follower, is no longer an individual.
But then again, I consider the notions of things vampirc and any sort of social organization to be mutually exclusive, invalidating, and excreable. Any of these Vampire Church and House of St. Germaine things are, to me, classifiable along side cults, rpgs, and political parties.
I should say, that this doesn't attack anyone individually. All people on their own are worthy of respect. But I am hostile to anyone's act of or participation in any sort of hierarchy.
SaSm
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I just got word from spazz that my absentee postmaster Wodja will be returning to Cordes soon. I'll have to make an appearance when gets there, to see what packages and love letters have been piling up. I'm hoping that _the Bleeding Pen_ will have arrived. Such fun. Back to shopping for CDs. Sasm BlogID# 3807914 $blog_id=3807914; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
5/26/2001 Thank good for DVD... and subtitles. I watched The Bride Wore Black (1967) . It is insanely great and old. Best thing is the link above. Have a look at the DVD title. It SHOULD be But it isn't. BlogID# 3798428 $blog_id=3798428; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> I posted this to Farm Poetry today. I should work on it more, but i sort of like it as it is. Left. My foot alights softly on the cold polished stone, slippered heel falling audibly behind. Velvet hip swinging forth, crushing all opposition. Leathered body sinking to the divan, elbowing into personal enclaves. Shoulder shruging off all question, tossing head casting off inquiring stares. Teeth sink into your flesh with the inevitable mating of my hunger and your soul. Originally Tuesday, February 13, 2001 posted by Sarah Smiles 4/1/2001 BlogID# 3797650 $blog_id=3797650; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
5/25/2001 Just what every blood sucking revanant needs on an off night when she's too bloated to move, and mydol just won't work: Etch a Sketch simulator! Oh, the humanity of it all. BlogID# 3790419 $blog_id=3790419; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/24/2001 I feel like I'm part of a very very stupid nation. Perhaps I can get French citizenship. Sigh. Or at least learn a language of readers. What's that, I wonder? The No-Book Report: Skim It and Weep (washingtonpost.com) The No-Book Report: Skim It and Weep More and More Americans Who Can Read Are Choosing Not To. BlogID# 3774547 $blog_id=3774547; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> You can find Sarah on the Night Shade Poetry Collection, at the bottom again! ;-) But it is so wonderful. Thanks to Pandora, and her crew. BlogID# 3774213 $blog_id=3774213; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF;
include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> From FarmPoetry Message 2771 In response to Icarus' post in msg 2767, and magpie's rejoiner in 2768 He may have joined, this silient icarus, without having joined us at all; as he may have joined in a dark passive voice through reading the web of us all.
Icarus, as we know, was a deep thoughtful soul, full of labrynthine webs of the mind, and may have percieved, though not to deceive, a way to divine his great fall.
As we all know, pigs cannot fly, though piglet flies over us all, and though icarus may not have joined this great list, he may have peeked over the wall.
BlogID# 3769556 $blog_id=3769556; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/23/2001 I'm now listed on www.bust.com @ Girl Wide Web: Links. In case you can't find me here. B-) Oh, and according to Sarah^1 >February 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua >*AQUA* >Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely, >and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other >people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and you get >lost in love easily, Sometimes you get hurt by love. BlogID# 3760438 $blog_id=3760438; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
Nothing official yet, but Spazz just called me to say that The Bleeding Pen is out. And I have two poems in it!!! PRINT. Too much. BlogID# 3760389 $blog_id=3760389; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/21/2001 Check out my New Design for SarahSmiles.com. I've been online almost a year, and I'd like to try something a bit more cool. Comments welcome. BlogID# 3731600 $blog_id=3731600; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";
$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> A response to Magpie's poem: to ache: What is it to ache; wracked with unrequited recollections that sap the mind and soul and break the will to wonder. What is it to scream; echoes' aching canyon cry, voicing storied pain of heart-crushed hope.
What is it to love; dueling sweating lust, intercoursing probing minds of deeply twinning souls.
What is it to live; sustained sanguine soul, solitary midnight watching for mourning signs of life. BlogID# 3728264 $blog_id=3728264; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
I met this really strange "whole bunch a woman" tonight. She was busking near the opera house (Ya, I'm back in Lyon). Candice from Boston was getting hastled for busking, so we dragged her off to a cafe. She promised to learn how to sing Sarah Smiles for me. Perhaps we'll find it and play it for her, no? BlogID# 3721847 $blog_id=3721847; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/19/2001 Ohmygod^22 www.nightshadepromo.comaccepted my poems for their site, and want to do a website spotline on sarahsmiles.com. I am, and I've said it before, totally and unmitigatingly flummoxed. BlogID# 3706234 $blog_id=3706234; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> I sent off some poems to Night Shade Poetry Collection tonight. I hope they take them. It would be nice to get something out there and being read. BlogID# 3705121 $blog_id=3705121; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
Beth is teasing me that I look like the madonna. God how I hate having my picture taken. This was taken in a cafe in Lyon, can you guess which one? Or was it Arles? I only have two images, and I'll play with the other one, and see if I can get it up too. It is better to play with pictures, when you have nothing to say, than it is to fret about having nothing to say. But that's how it goes, when you're talking to people face to face, there's less to confide in your journal, no? BlogID# 3702391 $blog_id=3702391; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
I AM SARAH!!!Behold the first face of Sarah Smiles on line. Look and weep. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I feel powerful and violated. But I'll get over it, which ever side is valid. Good night, sweet sarah, good night. BlogID# 3697552 $blog_id=3697552; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/17/2001 Blooody Vikings! BlogID# 3666297 $blog_id=3666297; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/16/2001 I'm on the road.. hoping to see beth and noor (see picts and search archive for them) for a bit of fun. Be good. BlogID# 3662258 $blog_id=3662258; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> I'm on the road.. hoping to see beth and noor (see picts and search archive for them) for a bit of fun. Be good. BlogID# 3661685 $blog_id=3661685; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/14/2001 I got email from THE BLOOFER LADY. The ranking god on Vampirology. She told me that I made a mistake in saying she was from Halifax. But I didn't. Sarah Dorrence said that. I corrected her. Ah. For shame. But I'm thrilled nonetheless. Sasm BlogID# 3618532 $blog_id=3618532; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/12/2001
I rejoined FarmPoetry... after someone left. This is based on two wonderful poems already posted by Pigglet and Pitchfork...
Ode to a liquid drop of life
My thoughts upon that liquid drop of life fall first casually, softly to regard the source of misery and strife, that keeps us from attaining our reward, and lead us on an eternal endless quest, as if we are enthralled at its behest.
The source, I know, of misery and fear that keeps us from embracing what is dear, is naught but our regret and our dismay that all we have will someday fade away. And we will be with less than when we're born for gone will be our innocence by morn.
In endless night I cloak my misery, as if to hide that which I'm wont to see. But in the night the phantoms by my side laugh and mock my dreams, and hopes deride. For if I hope and pray my luck will turn, my demons past arise, and all hope spurn.
But lo! I find each night I think of you, my tiny fragile liquid drop of life. And sing my pleasured plans out at your name. And sing my sorrowed pains out just the same. I sing that you may follow my voice home from where and when you solitary roam.
For you, my drop of life, are not the blood, the crimson joy that flows upon the flood. Nay, you the drop of life are my own soul, the one without whom I am never whole. And if I see your smiling face again my voice will never rise in rage and pain.
BlogID# 3601111 $blog_id=3601111; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/10/2001 Piglett's Sty (see below for rationale)
I didn't know you then, playing in your sty. All engrossed with your friends, passing by the bye. Cavorting with the farmyard set, the joy of farmyard life. Playing in the farmyard mud, far from stress and strife.
I stood upon a dusty cliff, overlooking hill and dale; in the midnight hour, I looked and looked, until the night turned pale. Though from my cliff the view was grand, and my thoughts and verse did sail they searched and searched throughout the night, for a home in some warm vale.
BlogID# 3571462 $blog_id=3571462; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> II Oft the thoughts and words and dreams got lost upon the waves, and did alight on some sad blight with hope her verse would pave a street of gold, a town of gold, and friendships deep and long, but once again, the wind did send a howl to end her song.
At last, one night, she found the farm, and she thought her journey done, for such a fast and friendly place there really could be but one. And Sarah fast alighted from her cloud with joy and glee, but sadly, truly, happiness was something not to be. For as she went down to the farm, she did not go alone, but on her tail a darkened voice silently did drone.
And as she spoke her first fine words and listened at the farm, the droning darkened deadly voice turned joyfulness to harm. Because her presence at the farm brought darkness on her heels, she ran back to her mountain top amid the laughter peels of the darkened drone that drove her out, amid embarrassed cries she is left up there, quite bereft, alone in darkened skies. BlogID# 3571424 $blog_id=3571424; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");
?> Piglet's two poems: Too Late and Beauty are the most witty things I've read this week, if I read subtexts... they inspired me to this poem... I'll post it in a second, when I'm finished. BlogID# 3570937 $blog_id=3570937; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/9/2001 Harumph. Exhead is having loads of fun spamming farm poetry: FarmPoetry Messages :2654-2683 of 2683. I just can't imagine being a member of the group without Big Brother shutting me down again like he did on his list. It is a learning experience. I thought that my caustic wit was a bit silencing, but he's showed me that it is not the case. When you stop some one from speaking with technology, or hound them, then you are silencing them. I feel better about that. BlogID# 3555467 $blog_id=3555467; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/8/2001
Yahoo groups is down. I chatted with a strange fish all night, a remarkable poetic denisen of the deep. However you spell it. Oh, and Emmalicious, my web mistress, saved my bacon by identifying why my web page failed and autoforwarded in some web brosers. I had left some code in that was doing it. Bad sarah. But how was I to know? Sheeesh. BlogID# 3543156 $blog_id=3543156; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/5/2001 Oh, yes, and there was a response from the list: Re: Nosey Rod that almost made me pee myself. BlogID# 3510407 $blog_id=3510407; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF;
include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
I can't believe it! They're after me: "Rod A". Like I'm not just some gutter snipe? I need a life, but they need more than that. BlogID# 3498539 $blog_id=3498539; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/4/2001 I love Yahoo! Groups : FarmPoetry! They write better than I do. They're more friendly than I am. And they seem to be having more fun than I am. And they don't seem to mind a vampire on the farm. Yeeehaaa! BlogID# 3493500 $blog_id=3493500; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> 5/3/2001 BlogID# 3482497
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This poem, called Farewell, is my final word to Dark_Poets@yahoogroups.com. I finally had to leave. Hard to say why. AH, read it first, and I'll tell you why at the bottom. It seems my voice is broken under the wheels of the man. The weight of such oppression has made me who I am, a little twisted, slightly dark, shunning all bright light, and, if you look so succulent, you'll find I also bite. It seems that when I once did bark, self-promoting out of turn, I was firmly on probation placed, lest madness still did burn. I lived my bleak abeyance prostrated on the ground, and promised that I now saw the light, epiphany quite profound. I thought I'd passed the muster returned unto the fold but since my last rejection I'm dumped out in the cold. The last offending poem, at sarahsmiles.com is a bit of viper doggerel presented with aplomb. It is caustic and its personal vitriolic and quite rude, but totally appropriate trashing some thick old dude. Now I don't have harsh words or thoughts to our moderating host, he's been a perfect gentleman appreciated most. But I have neither heart nor soul to suffer such restriction; my voice must not be censored or await for validation. So, from this list I must shove off which will bring cheers of joy, casually cast as soft aside, from those I do annoy.
Well? If you look at Rusty Blades below, you'll see that I got into a fight again with an insufferable twit. And I am just not good enough at letting things slide. I mean, who could a) be so stupid to call themselves "Akira Katana" and not realize it is a stupid name, and b) get upset when someone politely, and with full references, suggest that you might consider something less obtuse. But no, Ms Katana decides to get all parentally condescending, and can't even properly phrase a sentence. Nothing gets me more pissed that poorly written abuse. Well written abuse is an art form. Finally, after I sarcastically noted that I was shocked she'd not just told me to piss off (trying to point out that her semi-articulate inanitities we unbecoming a poet), she finally told me to fuck off. Such a useful poetic phrase. Remember we're on a poetry list... though this was all off line, otherwise I'd post the whole sordid story.
ANYWAY, Susie Creamcheese here was just too thick for words, so I wrote a poem (Rusty Blades), and posted it to Dark Poets. I did make sure that it was poetry, and thus acceptable to post. Though it was hostile, but it was verse. After a couple of days, as other posts came through, I realized that mine was not there... either it was censored, or I was being moderated still... from the last outburst of mine, that was due to the non-expression of the rules of the site... for which I got trashed by a previous member.
I decided that I'd better move on. If the nice guy who monitor's the site doesn't feel comfortable letting me loose among all the dark poets, I'm just not that welcome. I'm not one to negotiate in this regard. I found another list called FarmPoetry (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FarmPoetry) who look like fun. I hope they can handle my stuff, but it looks like they know how to edit and critique well, without going PMS over the whole thing. I have no regrets with DP, aside from these two thunder bitches in denial of their inherent illiteracy, everyone's been nice, and the poems were fun to read. Now to VampireFarmPoetry.
PS: I'm not using my dial-up connection... thus the long lines. Sniffle. Back to me tomorrow... monothought. BlogID# 3473181
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?> Oh, she's so cute! Spazz showed me boo's LiveJournal. BlogID# 3472829 $blog_id=3472829; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?>
I still can't upload large files. Bummer. And I was suposed to go out to a club tonight, but I couldn't get my act together in time, and they left without me. Bummer. But my package of books arrived from Aix, and I got an unabridged version of Ann Radcliffe's The Mysteries of Udolpho. NOT BUMMER. So, I'm still doing short posts, and that's the best I can do, but all is well with the world. BlogID# 3471634 $blog_id=3471634; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");
?> 5/1/2001
BlogID# 3442140 $blog_id=3442140; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> Part one and two are for a poem I posted to dark_poets@yahoogroups.com. I think they will refuse to post it, and I'll get nuked from the group. So, I thought I'd put it here. Hope it tricks the heart. Rusty Blades
One strange night a month ago when sarah did awake, she did not know that she'd embarked on a particular path of fate. That the crimson_shadow_dancer of hotmail dot com would post to her fave email list with remarkable aplomb. That crimson_shadow_dancer was writing a special work under the name Akira Katana, "Oh, god!" I thought, "A jerk?" Or just someone who had just not thought the thought through to the end. So Sarah chose to send a message her ignorance to end.
When Sarah pointed out, gingerly the problematic state, and suggested somewhat markedly that some mis-thought to date had led this shadow_dancer a crass faux pas to make. Akria is a well known name of manga genesis, and katana is a nice sword of folded steel plate. Sarah thought that anyone who'd choose such a facile name would rather someone told her, and thus avoid some shame, and appropriating Japanese culture, without much regard, was something somewhat moronic, that one should fast discard. Then Akira Katana's trusty blade a voice of phallic lust, turned out to be a blunted knife of plastic, rust and dust; the illusionary illusionist just pretends is was on purpose and invents another moniker, one equally thought- and worthless.
When one awakes from Indigo Dreams and goes out into the night, one realizes that one's voice of gold was really one of spite, and that one's carefully laid out plans of grace and poise so clear are really mewling caustic tripe of ignorance and fear.
Thus sits sarah in her warm cave below the bright chateau and looks out to the town below in search of friend or beau. Another trollop's bit the dust potential friend rejected because of all the dross we throw and of all the truths we trow and gutter speaking trash we know, how doth the list of the dead grow. BlogID# 3442067 $blog_id=3442067; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> -omitted- BlogID# 3442043 $blog_id=3442043; $blog_mail="Sarah@yukazine.com";$file_name=$PHP_SELF; include ("blogkomm/module/blogkomm_show_link.php");?> |