VDA is again asking the tough questions.
Date: Mon, 27 Nov 2000 20:14:31 -0500
From: "XQ"
Subject: Topic: Vampiric Traits

What vampiric traits do you exhibit (if any) and when did you start believing and wondering if there was "more" to you then everyone else?

To which I answer:

Er, I still haven't. Vampires are a) dead, b) story book characters.

Waking with blood in my belly and a smile on my face
and my thoughts in a far off and wonderful place
moved my soul off to search in the darkest direction
and through long midnight hours of deep introspection
surmised that I might be both dead and a story
just in order to rationalize a life that's so gory.
I live and I love and I move and I try
to keep out of the sun and to drink, or I die.
Thus I don't know if vampire is real or a metaphor
but that's not the answer I think you are looking for.
BlogID# 1501435

I'm struggling with my short story. So you'll have to look at my poetry for any interesting content. Nothing here worth thinking of.
I did spend the evening chatting with my web mistress emma about web design, but I doubt she'll comment on the fact at her site. Don't miss the picture of her with a pumpkin in her mouth, taken at my POD's place. I can't wait to meet her face to face.

SS
BlogID# 1498737

I've redesigned my site!!! You had better like it. Or else.
It now has only one day on this page. Choose the month or week
for old stuff. I put up a poetry page as well. Next photos and links.
Then my old static site can be dismantled. I didn't make that site,
spazz did. Now I'm learning how to do it on my own, with the
help of Blogger.com
BlogID# 1487425

Cool... Cool... Cool... Cool... Cool... Cool... Cool... Lautreamont NYC Gothic Art Gallery. I've been looking for a good translation of Lautreamont, having only heard of it and read snippets. But this is a nice gallery.
SS
BlogID# 1468332

Test... 1, 2, 3.
BlogID# 1468179

Again, at the request of the redoubtable ShortGoth, a poem.

Dame Darkness Calls.
The Night holds my soul close-cradled and safe,
a mentor protecting her lonesome lost waif.
She hides teasing me, under rocks and in shadows,
Tempting, embracing me on midnight meadows.
She teaches secrets of hidden lost things;
Of nature, of dreams and darkness she sings -
Secrets and mysteries lost to you all
Who hide inside houses when dame darkness calls.
BlogID# 1465361

The folks at eGroups : vda-newcarthage Files are pissing me off... Not with anything bad they said, but a question sparked another rant. >The question is: What does vampirism mean to you?

That's tough. Very tough.
I don't believe that I am one.
It is a term that I'm forced to come to grips with because
everyone else uses it in reference to me.
I won't bore you with the symptoms, descriptions,
tests and assessments. But there is one thing
worthy of note. I am an individual, just like all others,
I don't pretend to be better because I'm different.
But I do, more than ever, recognize the differences of
others. Even the twisted souls who thrive to make
meaning of meaningless existences walk with me.
I recognize that I have a right to exist, and I have the
right to survive, and I have the right to make the best
choices I can for my own body. I won't have anyone
else human, vampire or sysAdmin telling me what I can do to or cannot.
They can stop me, but I will not acknowledge any sovereignty
over my body and my mind except my own.
If what I drink and how I live makes me a vampire
in their eyes, I'm happy with that, but I rebel against
anyone acting on their belief with regards to their opinions
of what I must do now that they have defined me as such.

Words may be an expression of my soul,
but my fist is surely an expression of my heart.

Sarah (who has been poked too close to home with this question)^2
BlogID# 1459923

Wow, I've really been AWOL the past couple of days. I've been active, but there's bee so much shite going on on Real-Vampires and vda-newcarthage@egroups.com that I've not had time to share my live with the wonders online. Let me see what I can find... some poetry, or a rant... BRB.

On VDA they wouldn't stop muttering about the fight going on on Real-Vampires. I ranted:
Message: 6
Date: Thu, 23 Nov 2000 20:52:28 -0500
From: Sarah Smiles
Subject: Re: Digest Number 97

All right.

You scum sucking aliens have taken over the minds and souls
of those I respect and love, 'cept Nathan and MetaGoth
who are far too thick and cute to be accessible by the
eldritch horrors from beyond space and time.
The aliens, like the Mind Parasites, are forcing you all
to flog dead horses and not leave well enough alone.
My brains are dripping out my ears
hearing the excrement from your rears.
So all you brain case rejects from
the stinking pits of hell leave well
enough alone and let the rotting
dead lie.

SS

----
BlogID# 1456351

Off to play... crazy dhalinks
BlogID# 1438468

There is a full blown riot ocurring on eGroups : real-vampires over the booting of the list found. Interesting to watch. The mob is acting more responsibly than the list founder or the list board.
Sarah^2 watches and listens.
BlogID# 1413672

The wonderful founder of Real Vampires Sarah
seems to have left the list. I make no comment about the content of the list or the truth of their suppositions. That is not my interest. But they are lively [sic] and a nice group of people to watch and listen to online.
A sad night in deed.
SS
BlogID# 1406370

microGoth's on a roll. He shared the following:

vamp-etiqutte: The practise of "correct" feeding techniques: IE causeing the donor as little harm as possible, no matter howq much they want pain. Worrying about the morality of drinking blood. Worrying about leaving a bruise. Worrying about laws and legal shit. Worrying about people's parents.

I love it! No puss, no stretch marks, not last minute pleading, no hiding of the bodies. Politically correct vampirism.
Vampire as government official.
SS
BlogID# 1395152

Dr Seuss in Rubber....
I do not want to tie you up.
I will not, will not little pup.
I will not put you in a box,
I will not dress you up in frocks,
I will not hang you by your hair,
I will not beat you anywhere.
BlogID# 1394811

As punishment, shortGoth send me a .plan to read. I think I did something wrong in my life, and he's my taskmaster for the post-life. Evil.
BlogID# 1394728

I wrote this last month, after listening to so many stories on the list real-vampires, and people's joys and horrors. It is not about them all, but about me. But I wouldn't have gotten into this mood without the list. And I wouldn't have posted it, except picoGoth said nice things about actually reading what I posted.

_You fucking bitch, why did you leave me?_
The anthem of my nightmares,
my mantra to my mother,
tender words of regret
spoken with love and remembrance
veiled in tears and washed with loss.
You left me with pictures and my name,
dimming memories and half invented stories;
broken verses in a song,
the music forgotten.
Stolen from me in broken glass and shattered bones;
summer of regrets half forgotten
recollections of your smile.
A child still wanders with p
SSicture in her hand crying,
"Why did you leave me?"

SS
BlogID# 1387822

This blogger is broken. I'm on strike.
Bite me... or rather, bite you!
BlogID# 1378301

Sarah blushes:

Date: Tue, 14 Nov 2000 11:53:12 CST
From: "N***** A*****"
Subject: massive catch-up post!!!
Sarah Smiles:
*****
I do not drink blood.
The blood drinks me.

I am not a child of the night.
The night is my child.

I am not lost among the living.
The living are lost within me.
******
That is simply beautiful, and to me embodies the gnostic truth of vampirism,
that in consuming we are also consumed . . . every idea containing its
antithesis . . .
BlogID# 1365046

I'm flummoxed: Check out the Election Drag and Drop!!! Colonize.com
BlogID# 1362896

I got total bloat syndrome. I'm going to keep laying on my back until I get less full.
BlogID# 1356839

I gotta share... on one list that I'm on, the nicer-parts-of-hell (I think a NIN thing) a wonderful girl, who will remain nameless, said she didn't know what to wear to a formal occassion with her hubby, who's a military type. I suggested the following... wouldn't you?
Sarah recommends the Diamanda Gala's option: head to foot in pig's blood, screaming in incoherent syllables a la Yoko Ono about various and sundry topics like aids and the indifference of the state towards those the state ignores.

But if that's just not the thing, why not go totally vanilla conservative. 100%. Nothing held back. Go all the way. But do it perfectly. Ideally. Abstractly. So much that it becomes a fantasy caricature of everything and every one.

Trez Scissorhands,

Pace!

SS
BlogID# 1320633

I found this site... Burning Effigy Press & Productions no, Spazz found it, and thinks we can submit a short story we co-wrote. Actually, my story, his editing, but there's so much of us both that we agreed that we needed to co-write it. I demanded it actually. Anyway, it was from this story that we decided that we should do a whole novel together. Pray for us.

SS
BlogID# 1278468

I got permission from the lovely and talented Ravien to use her logo. Thanks. I'll find a way of attaching it properly later... but it just speaks to me, somehow.
BlogID# 1244513

Happy Halloween
Here's something I posted to my favorite VampiresR'Us list...

Message: 1
Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2000 07:53:28 -0500
From: Sarah Smiles
Subject: Immortal types flocking to the list. ;-)

Kelandris the Mad's experiences was making my sad, and then she
brightened my night.
Thanks

That is a beautiful metaphor. So beautiful....
Look at it.
Listen to it.
Let it roll off your tongue and between your breasts,
and down to your boots where you can grind it under sole.

A Flock of Immortals ;-)

The flock of immortals,
aery and vacuous,
waft in on the evening breeze,
through the conversation and
out into the starless night.

The flock of immortals,
ageless and undying,
resplendent in their borrowed finery
speak not of themselves, but of
what they think they wish to be.

The flock of immortals
distant and aloof,
feel nothing of the aches and angst
of our tortured existences
in their bright and perfect
fantasies, alone.

The flock of immortals
all knowing and sublime,
never leave the nest to
truly try their wings and fly
amongst those lost and searching
and sharing and striving.

The flock of immortals
hell-bound by their fate,
hiding from themselves
in misery and hate
dying to be real
but knowing it's too late.
BlogID# 1233321